Settled in...

We got the place, I"ll put up some pics of the place. its really cool. the nights are very clear and perfect. perfectly temperatured to wearing a jacket but not being cold or chilled but pleasantly cooled off. And not the neccessary type of cooled off you need after baking in the sun- for we're coming out of winter- but the cooled off you would like drink down like a glass of room temperature water. the constellation Orions belt is in the western sky and it comes up right about after sunset. cleanly showing his wares an hour after sunset. tonight however, WOW, was really a treat. If you follow Orions belt i guess to the right, or follow it as it tilts up wards you'll see the Pleaidias. And tonight oh wow, it was hanging over the moon. and the moon was just a sliver wide and there was earth shine to reflect the rest of the moon. (EarthShine: Thanks to mom- is when the sun reflects off the earth and onto the part of the moon that is hidden in shadow but it illuminates the whole of the moon). I mean that's what i'm really talking about out here. something magic. you know when i was a kid i came upon an age where i realized that i couldn't survive in this world believeing and acting out the things I thought and knew to be true- the magic. So instead of forgetting it and throwing it away, I just put it away. In a nice safe clean box-like a virgo does- inside myself. And knew that from that moment on i would work in my life to achieve my life to be a safe enough place to bring that part of me out again. It has never and will never die, it's just very consciously hibernating. I feel that my world is not only forming to be the safe place for that part of me to come out but but it is becoming a healthy and nourishing place for that part of me to come out.
I've organize my life into 5 parts. Family Work Music Romance Health. and music is perfect. Bonnie is amazing I mean soul sister here. she's a pure as jerica, but punk as trevor, kind as silk, but tough as nails. she's got a great spirit but more than that she's a great bassist. and wants the same thing i do. with her, and with wifey- my drummer- who's name is Kristin!!!!!- who is a magic lady. ---Okay get this, Wifey is in college for healing, chakra etc. HOLY SHIT!!! and she's a rad drummer and she loves all sorts of music and is sooo rad and her name is Kristin and she also plays the guitar and bass--- and it is good.
So that is solid, gotta find a job, romance is cool, get to see my family soon!!!! and what else did i say? oh yea health that's the big guy
it so amazing
all this healing i do from the inside of me out. somehow i have kept track of what has been damaged in me. doing so only by tracking how my ideal version of me is, and how a part of me is lacking. well all this space and nice wide open air, and the bouncing off of each other tony and i do, my spirit is starting to shine like a pink sapphire. you know a real jewel. and its only in my eyes. none other shall ever have to need to agree. i don't care because its up to my standards-thank you parentals:) i mean i thought this last part of healing -which is acting in my boundaries from others and towards others, while being creative- had to be aligned with health, but alas i haven't started that healing yet- but it is still healing. which is good because my condition of spirit. and i say spirit because that is mind and soul together. when i can achieve this in my spirit for heart and mind to be of accord- needs to come as alone as possible. like as separate from everything but with each other as possible.. rambling sorry>>>:)
its good, its good. and this space enables me to really really choose who and what i want to be and what i am doing with my time. tomorrow i will set my alarm to get up with the sunset. WHY NOT!? that is the best way to induce the base chakra- is by changing your routine. doing something you would not usually do. or not doing something you usually would do.
I love you.
I am so grateful. My band is allowing me to solo!!!! and sing!!! they are both powerful tools that will lead me to success and they are getting exercised and encouraged! The storm the other night was way rad!  way scary! tornado warning! crazy blue lightening to the west and LITERALLY thunder that SHOOK THE HOUSE!

Our house in the middle of our street:)

Built in 1890s!

Me, Bonnie, and Taylor, one of the band practices!

I really miss my family though, especially mom, dad, and kristin. ESPECIALLY THEM. they are so special to me, i mean they are the ones that not only have been there my whole life, but who we have formed these meaningful deep relationships. individual. and they are so support based. there is so much support and unconditional love between all of us, its something universal we understand together. All the friends I  have made over the last year, they are acquaintances- not friends. and this time coming back to to utah its time for them to see the extent to which i live by my boundaries. I have a few friends and they know who they are. So excited to see my Marie:) My beautiful cousins! and that's really all i have time for. i know i will see "all others too" and i'm just not about wasting my time or energy anymore, which is so good we moved out here, because with that high energy moments everyone loosens up and SUCKS, and they want to talk to you and neither of you say ANYTHING worth keeping, its just to momentarily fit in to something that neither of you even care about. BARF! I care about my family, my true few friends, Tony, animals, rock and roll, you know the gauntlet. But they are simple, and they are few, and they are the true treasures in my life.